It seems like every time I open up a newspaper lately, something really interesting jumps out at me. For instance, a recent article began “Who would have imagined that men might prefer yardwork over sex.”
But according to a recent study, given free time `for fun and enjoyment’, 52 percent of male `home enthusiasts’ prefer working in the yard, gardening and landscaping to having sex.”
As I read on, I discovered that “Many Americans prefer to spend their leisure time being constructive around the home. As the economy worsens, these `home enthusiasts’ are devoting huge chunks of free time and large sums of money to gardening, building, remodeling, decorating and crafts.”
The article concluded “Among both men and women, gardening was named as a favorite pastime by 45 percent of both men and women, while among both sexes, only 40 percent preferred sex for “fun and enjoyment.
“Why do you have that goofy expression on your face?” suddenly asked my wife, who was seated next to me on our couch reading another section of the newspaper.
“What expression?” I asked.
“You look confused.”
“Well, maybe I am.”
“Why?”
“It’s just something I read, that’s all,” I said.
“What did you read?”
“It wouldn’t interest you?”
“Try me,” she said.
“Okay, there’s an article in today’s newspaper than says most men prefer yardwork over having sex.”
“Really?”
“Can you believe that?” I asked. “And it also says that 40 percent of women prefer working in the garden to having sex.”
“Well, that’s certainly interesting,” she said. “Did it say what percent of women prefer shopping for clothes to having sex?”
“No.”
“Did it say anything about women being more interested in going out to dinner than having sex?”
“No.”
“Did it say we would rather go dancing than have sex?”
“No.”
“The movies?”
“No!”
“How about ice skating, plays, concerts, and going to the beach?”
“Hey,” I said. “Just what are you saying here? It sounds like you think most women would rather do just about anything other than have sex.”
“All I’m saying, my dear, is that if 40 percent of women would rather sweat like a pig in the garden than have sex, men are really going to be surprised if they ever do a study about shopping, dancing, and going out to dinner.”
“You hate gardening, don’t you?” I asked.
“Yes, but I must admit that I’m very fond of shopping, dancing, plays, concerts, taking long walks on a beach…..hey, where are you going?”
“This conversation is going nowhere,” I said as I got up from the couch and went in search of my car keys. “I’m off to take a little drive and do something constructive.”
“And what might that be?” she asked with interest.
“I’m gonna go check out which of our neighbors have the best kept yards.”