Did you know that “supermarket flirtations” are the rage in Europe? Well, that’s what a world-traveling friend of mine recently told me and I was shocked to learn it! I mean, all I’ve ever heard from the women in my life is that they absolutely hate going grocery shopping. I guess the first thousand or so times are alright, but after that, it apparently becomes nothing but a dreaded chore that no one in their right mind would consider fun.
“That’s because you live in America where the women have to do all the grocery shopping,” explained my friend. “Over in Europe most men can actually take care of themselves and won’t starve to death if they don’t have a woman in their life shopping and cooking for them.”
“So,” I asked with surprise, “you’re saying that men and women actually go to the local grocery store with the express purpose of meeting someone they would want to date?”
“That’s right. In fact, research in Britain has shown that many young people actually prefer meeting members of the opposite sex in supermarkets than in nightclubs. Now don’t get me wrong, nightclubs are still very popular especially for hooking up for a one-night stand, but women who want more than that often find it in their grocery aisles.”
“You’re kidding.” I said.
“No, I’m very serious. But it only seems to work in places where there are a lot of modern men who live alone and therefore do their own chores and know how to cook.”
“So exactly how does all of that go down?”
“Well,” she explained. “As a woman, when I am looking for a potential soulmate in the supermarket, I just go in, get myself a shopping cart, stroll up and down the aisles in one of my cutest outfits, and see who is obviously single. And once having spotted a likely target, I find a way of making sure I am right next to him so I can look down into his basket.”
“Why would you want to do that?” I asked.
“Because if his shopping basket is full of fresh veggies and fruit, flour, and spices, then I know he can cook and has the time to do it, which means he probably has a good job with no stress and lots of free time for me. But if he has a bunch of those ready-made meals in his basket, then he probably has no time for cooking or interest in it, which means he would expect his partner to do it for him, and I hate to cook. This type of man is often senior management and in a high-income bracket, but the downside is that they usually have very little time for the woman in their life, which of course is not good.”
“You can tell all of that just from looking down in some poor guy’s grocery cart?” I asked.
“Sure, and other basket giveaways as to a man’s availability are shampoo and toiletries. If there is nothing of this kind in his basket, then he falls into two categories. One, he has a wife or girlfriend, or two, his mother buys them for him, and both are not good for the single woman looking for a mate. Oh, and if his basket is filled up with beer instead of wine, that is not a good sign, either, because a man who loves beer is usually typed as someone who drinks with his mates while watching sporting events at a pub, or will even order beer at a fancy restaurant, neither of which is very classy. Wine drinkers, on the other hand, can be expected to take you to nice places and they usually have good taste and some class, whereas beer drinkers are almost always wannabes in those important areas. And cleaning products can be very illuminating, too.”
“Cleaning products?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. For instance, no man ever buys cleaning products unless he lives alone, especially laundry detergents or dishwashing soaps, so that tells you right away if he is available. And most men also do not buy things like toilet cleaners or scouring pads unless they are single. Plus, cleaning products are also very helpful in determining a man’s income bracket. If all of the aforementioned products are in a man’s basket, it means he is only in the middle class and cannot hire someone to clean his apartment for him, but it also means that he is very clean, which in my way of thinking, is almost as important as him having money.”
“And you’ve actually done this?” I asked with interest. “I mean, you’ve gone into a supermarket and strolled up and down the aisles looking into the grocery baskets of single men.”
“Of course, I have!” she said.
“But what do you do when you’ve spotted the right guy for you? I mean, how do you actually go about meeting him?”
“Well, all women are different and have their own way of flirting, but I personally like to crash into his shopping cart with mine.”
“What?” I asked smiling.
“That forces him to actually interact with me while I am apologizing profusely for being such a clumsy fool. You have to remember, most of the good guys are shy and don’t have the courage to break the ice first – that’s why they’re still single.”
“So, you ram your shopping cart right into his?”
“Absolutely. And very hard, too.”
“So, let me get this straight, first you stroll around and scope him out, then you check everything in his shopping basket, and then you crash into him with your cart? Wow, it all seems so….well, so calculated.”
“Daryl, all is fair in love and war, and a girl needs every edge she can get nowadays. But to tell you the truth, if he’s tall, still has all his hair and a relatively flat belly, and his butt looks really cute when he’s pushing his cart around, I could pretty much care less what’s in his basket!”