King Arthur was a legendary king of medieval England and the main character in some of the most popular stories in world literature. For almost 1,000 years, writers and poets have told of Arthur’s heroic deeds and the adventures of his brave Knights of the Round Table. In reality, a King Arthur probably did exist, but historians know very little about him. Storytellers passed along the earliest tales about him by word of mouth and may have based their stories on an actual British leader who won some minor victories over German invaders way back in the 500’s (A.D.).
But no matter what the truth, King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table have always been wonderful characters for a good story, so even though the following one that I ran across doesn’t exactly qualify as high literature, I still consider it to be quite profound in its own little way, and definitely worth the retelling.
Once upon a time, King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and idealism. So, the monarch decided to mercifully offer Arthur his freedom, but only if he could answer a very hard question. And because of the question’s great difficulty, he told Arthur he would give him a whole year to come up with a reply, but if after that period of time he still had no answer, then he would be forced to put Arthur to death.
The question was, “What do women really want?”
Knowing that such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable of men, young Arthur thought it an almost impossible task, but since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer for him by year’s end.
Because Arthur was known throughout the land as a man who would keep his word, he was allowed to return to his kingdom and he immediately began to poll everyone around him, the princess, the priests, the wise men, even the court jester. He spoke with everyone he could think of, both male and female, but no one seemed to be able to give him a satisfactory answer to such a profound question.
A number of those at court advised Arthur to consult a local old witch, saying that only she would know the answer. The price would be high, though, they warned him, as the witch was famous for the exorbitant prices she charged for her insights into the human condition. Finally, as the last day of the year approached, and with still no answer in hand, Arthur had no alternative but to go and talk to the old witch.
She agreed to answer the question, but only if Arthur would accept her price first. The old witch was very lonely and wanted to marry a handsome young man named Gawain, the most notable of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur’s best friend.
Arthur was horrified by the request, as the witch was pockmarked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, and often made obscene noises for no particularly good reason at all. In fact, Arthur had never encountered such a repugnant creature in his whole life, and he refused to force his good friend to marry her and have to endure such an awful burden.
Gawain, however, upon learning of the proposal, decided to have a talk with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to the loss of Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.
“I will gladly marry, her, my Lord,” Gawain bravely told Arthur, and as soon as the wedding was proclaimed, the old witch immediately answered Arthur’s question thus: “What a woman really wants…is simply to be in charge of her own life.”
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was, as the neighboring monarch soon granted Arthur his total freedom.
And what a wedding Gawain and the old witch had. But Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle, thoughtful, and courteous. However, the old witch put her worst manners on display and generally made everyone feel very uncomfortable.
Then the fateful hour arrived. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrible experience, finally entered the marriage bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! There in front of him was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen! The astounded Gawain asked her what in the world had happened? The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she had appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self only half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful young maiden self.
“So, which would you like me to be during the day, and which during the night?” she asked Gawain with interest.
“What a cruel question,” answered Gawain as he pondered his predicament. During the day, he thought to himself, I would have a beautiful woman to show off to all of my friends, but at night, in the privacy of my home and my bed, I would have an old witch. Or I could have a hideous witch by day and a beautiful lover at night with whom I could enjoy many intimate moments.
Noble Gawain finally took a deep breath, recalled the answer to the question that had spared King Arthur’s life, and replied, “I wish you to choose for yourself.”
Upon hearing this, the woman smiled warmly and announced, “Then I choose to be beautiful all the time for you, because unlike the other men I have known, you have respected me enough to let me be in charge of my own life.”
So, you may ask, is there an actual moral to this little story? Well, of course there is, and it goes a little something like this:
If a woman doesn’t get her own way, things can get pretty darn ugly!