As has often been noted by people who are interested in such things, Valentine’s Day can be a very depressing time if you happen to be one of the millions who do not have a spouse or significant other in your life. But I think it’s important to step back a bit and look at the flip side of that coin. I mean, having a spouse or significant other in your life on Valentine’s Day is not exactly a Sunday stroll in the park, especially if you are a male.
For instance, if a guy is married, engaged, living with someone, going steady, or just beginning a relationship, he immediately (and forever) has the responsibility of somehow remembering that it’s Valentine’s Day, which is no easy task! It’s not as if it is Christmas Eve, or a birthday, or one of those other times of the year like Super Bowl Sunday which really stand out and can be easily remembered. I mean, February is basically a forgotten little month to begin with and that’s probably why they tried to pump it up a bit by giving it Valentine’s Day. So, although it may be true that the unloved may have to be a little lonely on February 14th, they at least don’t have to face the wrath of God should they accidently forget all about the darn thing.
Second, a guy has to come up with a brand-new gift idea, and this is only six weeks or so after having used up his “A” gift idea on Christmas. And I even know one poor soul who has been cursed with the dreaded “trifecta”. His wife was born right after the first of the year, so he has to somehow come up with a great Christmas present in December, almost immediately followed by another wonderful birthday present in January, and then try to top both of them with the perfect Valentine’s gift in February. And when winter rolls around every year, you should see this poor fellow, knowing as he does that the gift-gauntlet is awaiting him just around the corner.
Third, in addition to finding the perfect gift, it is more or less expected that a guy should also produce a box of candy and some flowers on Valentine’s Day. Well, to begin with, when you hand a woman a box of candy nowadays, they will smile at you like you have done something really good, but under their breath they are actually saying, “Oh, great, that’s all I need – a big box of candy sitting around the house. Doesn’t he have a clue? Doesn’t he know I’m still trying to exercise away the ten extra pounds I gained during the holidays?” And the reason for giving cut flowers to one’s beloved on Valentine’s Day (other than the profit motive of florists everywhere) has always gone over my head. I mean, the silly things cost a small fortune and that one romantic rose thing only works once. And what is so romantic about giving someone something that is already dead, even if they are on life support for a few days in a pretty vase?
So, although my heart goes out to all those who may find themselves unloved and lonely this year on Valentine’s Day, I would just like to remind them (especially the guys) that Valentine’s Day cuts both ways, and that they will at least not have to experience the “long polar frost of indifference” should they screw things up.