I don’t remember the name of the movie (I think it was `Annie Hall’), but Woody Allen and Diane Keaton were sitting next to each other on a plane, discussing the possibility that they were no longer really in love. “Let’s face it,” said Diane to Woody. “I don’t think our relationship is working anymore. What do you think?”
“Well,” said Woody philosophically, “relationships are a lot like sharks. They either keep moving forward, or they die.”
“Oh,” said Diane, not exactly sure what Woody meant.
“And unfortunately,” added Woody, “what I think we got on our hands here, is a dead shark.”
A couple with similar problems were on a talk show I was watching but according to the psychologist sitting next to them, they were going to be okay because they had discovered “role reversal therapy” just in the nick of time.
“So, just what is `role reversal therapy’?” the moderator asked the psychologist.
“Well, we are finding that most couples have an incredible lack of understanding and empathy for the real-life experiences of their partners, and this can be very toxic.”
“Really?” said the moderator, as confused as I was.
“That’s right,” continued the psychologist. “There are literally millions of men out there who don’t know what it’s really like to be a woman, and just as many women who don’t know what it’s like to be a man.”
“Can you give us a few examples?” asked the moderator.
“Certainly. For instance, men don’t have a clue what it’s like to go through child labor and give birth.”
A lady quickly stood up in the audience and added, “And if men had to give birth, the world population explosion would come to a screeching halt in about nine months!”
Anyway, just as I was learning how important it is for men and women to voluntarily exchange some of the roles they have assumed in their relationships, my wife strolled by and said, “I thought you said you were going to wash that filthy dog today.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” I said.
“Oh? And why is that?” she asked. “He reeks.”
“Well, for the health of our relationship, I think you should give Mikey his bath this time.”
“Is that right?” she asked.
“That’s what these people on this talk show are saying.”
“Really.”
“Yeah. And apparently we’d get along even better if you started doing all the yard work and also washed the car from time to time, too.”
“I see,” she said. “And have they said anything about who’s going to cook your dinner tonight if you don’t wash that gross dog?”
“Not yet,” I said. “Only that I should be more understanding if you ever give birth to another baby.”
After the show was over and after I had finished mowing the lawn, washing the car and bathing Mikey, I came to the reluctant conclusion that we probably shouldn’t mess too much with male and female roles. I mean, they’ve evolved over the centuries, and there’s probably a good reason for that.
I also thought of something else Woody Allen had said about relationships at the end of “Annie Hall”: `It’s like that old joke, you know, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, `Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a darn chicken’. And the doctor says, `Well, why don’t you turn him in?’ And the guy says, `I would, but we need the eggs’. Well, I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know, they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd, but I guess we keep on having them because, you know, most of us need the eggs.”