I was mindlessly surfing the Internet the other day when an article popped up entitled, “Surprising dog breeds to be wary of.” It also asked the question, “When you think of dangerous dog breeds, which animal do you picture: a pit bull or a wiener dog?”
Apparently prior research on dog aggression has focused solely on dog bite statistics, and using only that data, breeds like pit bulls, rottweilers, and Dobermans were thought to pose the most danger. But researchers now feel that prior studies were not painting a full picture, mostly because the majority of dog bites by smaller dogs tend to go unreported.
Anyway, the more I read, the more I began to realize that peoples’ opinions about which dogs are the most aggressive depend almost entirely on their own personal experiences with breeds they have either owned or been in contact with. For instance, as far as I’m concerned, the Doberman pinscher is easily the most aggressive dog on the planet because when I was ten years old one of them chased me all over West Sacramento, growling and snapping at my ankles and legs the entire time. My only crime had been that I had innocently strolled up to the unlocked screen door of a Sacramento Bee subscriber to collect the $1.50 he owed me for the paper I had been tossing on his doorstep for a month. The actual handing over of the money went well, but as I started to peddle my bike away from the house, the screen door suddenly exploded open, and the terrifying chase was on! I was also not that partial to terriers, either, because the one that lived at my parents’ house for ages bit me in the face the day I returned from Vietnam, having apparently completely forgotten that I was a member of the family.
So, wanting to get a better idea if dachshunds really are more aggressive than such dogs as pit bulls, rottweilers, and Dobermans, I decided to contact a friend of mine (I’ll call her Liz) who actually owns one, and our conversation went a little something like this:
“Hi Liz. I’m going to write a wiener dog expose’ in my column this week, but before I get too far into it, I thought it might be best to contact an actual owner of one.”
“First of all,” said Liz sternly, “I own a dachshund, not a wiener dog. In fact, he has a very long and impressive pedigree, and his real title even begins with the word, `Sir’. But what do you mean, you’re going to write an expose’?”
“Well,” I began to explain, “I just learned that wiener dogs – I mean dachshunds – are actually more aggressive than pit bulls, rottweilers, and Dobermans. In fact, they’re the most aggressive dog breed of all.”
“What fool told you that?” she asked.
“I read it in an article.”
“You mean in a column like yours?”
“Yeah.”
“Now why would you believe anything you read in a newspaper column? I certainly don’t believe everything I read in yours.”
“So,” I said, “then you’re saying that it has been your experience that dachshunds aren’t really all that aggressive?”
“Are you going to quote me in your little expose’?”
“Probably,” I said.
“Then what I will say for the record is that dachshunds are known for their fierce loyalty and are also extremely territorial. They are also very, very smart and clever dogs who only bark and bite for good reasons.”
“I see. So, what I guess I’m trying to find out is – for instance – if I was to walk up to your front door, knock on it, and be invited in, would I have to worry about your dachshund biting me?”
“You would if you write a stupid column trashing dachshunds!