I was having a lengthy conversation with a longtime friend the other day and she finally said she needed to get off the phone so she could get serious about making out her grocery list. When she added that she hated grocery shopping and that the only thing that made it go quickly was a good list of all the things she needed, I was reminded of a little chat I had many years ago with another friend on pretty much the same subject. I can’t remember how the topic came up, but our conversation went something like this:
“For a long time,” volunteered my friend, “making love has been a really good way for me to organize my grocery shopping list.”
“You’re probably going to have to explain that,” I said with a smile.
“No, I’m serious. If Ron (her husband) and I are going to make love, it’s almost always on a Saturday night. He’s too tired on the weekdays from working and on Sunday nights he’s usually all worn out from playing golf or going fishing with his friends. And forget the mornings. He always wakes up cranky. Plus, he has a thing about morning breath.”
“But what has all this to do with your grocery list?” I asked with interest.
“Well, I happen to hate crowded grocery stores, so I always try to do my shopping on Sunday mornings, you know, when everyone’s at church or visiting relatives or just sleeping in. And somewhere along the line, our Saturday night love making got pretty boring, so while we were, you know, being intimate, I’d just organize my grocery shopping list in my head. And over the years, it got to be kind of a habit.”
“You’re putting me on?”
“No, I’m not. Do you ever do the grocery shopping?”
“Not really.”
“Well, take my word for it, if you haven’t got a really good idea of what you need, you’ll end up impulse buying and coming home with a lot of things you really don’t need and hardly any of the stuff you do.”
“So, you’re telling me you can be making love to someone and be thinking about fruits and vegetables and boxes of cereal and canned goods at the same time? I don’t believe you.”
“Well, that’s because you are a man. Plus, you have never slept with Ron.”